"Why do you do this?"

The first time I heard this question was six months ago. A very drunk ex-marine approached me with this question while a group of friends and I were feeding and witnessing to the crowds on the night before Thanksgiving.

A good answer was far from me, so much that I think the Lord's Spirit had to step in and speak for me.

But the question hasn't stopped coming up since then. Most recently, I was behind some of the restaurants in downtown Pittsburgh with a ministry group called "No Walls," which focuses on homeless care and witnessing by means of building relationships.Behind the restaurants in an area we call "grease alley" were about six or seven homeless, some of which were drunk. In our group that night were six other men serving with myself, all strong believers (except for one, who seemed agnostic and was there for the community service hours.) Leading our group was the ministry's head, pastor Charlie Brownawell, whom we affectionately call "Charlie Brown." As soon as we got there, some of the homeless men who were there mentioned that they needed blankets. Charlie went back to the van to get them.

While the rest of us were feeding them, I got into a discussion with one of the older homeless men named Dale, barely coherent because he had been drinking so much. Dale held my hand the entire time and kept me closer than comfortable, and he would not stop asking ... "Why do you do this?"

"Well, because God ..."

"No," he would interrupt. "I don't -- I don't want the answer they give you." (he nodded toward the others in my group.) "I want your answer."

So I shared a portion of my testimony surrounding a broken engagement, trying to explain what God had done for me.

Yet throughout the conversation, he continued asking why and putting a strange amount of emphasis on my singular worth, absent of anything else. Dale's focus was on my own confidence and ego, but I wanted nothing but to give credit to my Lord. It was almost as though he wanted to relate my devotion to God to some kind of foolish devotion that a girl gives to the "wrong kind" of guy. Dale emphasised that my value was in myself, not in men.

He asked again. "Why do you do this?"

"Well, because of Love," I said hesitantly, but I had to correct myself. "Because God saved me and..."

"No, no! Not God ... I want to know why you do it."

I couldn't give Dale an answer. Separate from God, there was nothing I could say that was adequate. Eventually I had to tell him that I didn't know, and that still wasn't good enough. He continued to ask me and every time one of the guys tried to step in and rescue me, Dale would shout and curse at them violently, gripping me more firmly. My heart quickened. Fortunately, Charlie returned just in time and stepped in to calm Dale down. He engaged the man in conversation and prayer to give me just enough time to slip away and meet the others back at the van.

The rest of the night, though, I couldn't stop thinking about the question. I just couldn't give a proper answer. The answers that were acceptable to me were unacceptable to him, and possibly the answer he was looking for -- was unacceptable to me.

Ok, so, what are some of the reasons that people do good things?

- To earn community service hours (because of something they did.)
- To feel good about themselves (Which wouldn't last long, I think)
- To impress others with their "golden heart"
- To be around someone
- Because they feel guilty or obligated ...
- To get to heaven or some other kind of spiritual high-place (as though good works were a currency.)

I think that these are the answers people are looking for.

... The problem is that we are asking "why" in the first place. We want to identify the selfish, emotional, human incentive behind good works. But the heart of unconditional loving is far beyond feel-good philanthropy and "heavenly rewards" (a truth - but so greatly misunderstood!) The purpose of ministry is far less a cause, and far more an effect.

Understand:
Cause: God saved me; His Holy Spirit dwells within me!
Effect: I have a new nature in me, which require: no motivation, no incentive, no reward.

Now, a creature's nature is instinctive. I love like I breathe, not simply because I want to or choose to or try to; it's nautral because God wants to and chooses to and does so through us. (This is why we sing, "This is the air I breathe...")

And good works are a result, not a means to a result.

Some find this insulting, even implying that we put outselves down by "giving God credit for our own work."

Christian brothers, listen ... We know better! Because, when God chooses to work His love through us for His glory -- GOD, the creator of all - using meager us!!! Could anything of human will do even cloes to what He can? Faith alone is asked of us, so that we can be true, uninhibiting conductors of His good will.

Why do I do this?

Because: God does it through me. When I serve, it is the Father Himself reaching you, and not myself out of my own will.

... Now. Why would God use me?

Ha ... Rest assured, it wasn't because of anything I did. That's the beauty of grace! God only knows.